I just wish he didn't have to be the one to die. Not yet. There was no way that it was his time.
There is so much running through my head right now that my thoughts are in no way making complete sense.
My heart goes out to the entire LaDuke family. Saying that John LaDuke will be missed is a drastic understatement. My Uncle John would put a smile on your face- guaranteed, make you feel welcome, and encourage you to have as much fun as he was having. You could see the life exuding out of him. He was such a joyful person to be around. I can see him right now doing some action like pointing at me with his head cocked and slightly down, slight grin on his face, with eyes that were saying "I'm watching you... your parents might not know... but I do" Haha.. I feel like that must have had to happen more than once. For sure. He was the young one- he knew what was up! I remember going to hockey games just to watch him referee, then going out to dinner with the refs that just did a college game- I felt really cool. These refs are real people and I'm out to dinner with them. The last time I had the pleasure of seeing him was at Christmas. Christmas 2010. I loved talking to him, as always. He was hanging by the drinks and apps counter :) Of course now, knowing that that would be the last time I would see him, I wish that I talked to him more, taken something specific away from the conversation, lingered a little longer...
It's funny what memories stick out.
Like the time when I was little (who knows.. 5? 8?) and the Joliats and LaDukes had a big slumber party at an early LaDuke home. Of course the sleep over wasn't exactly planned, but as a kid that was the best part! John and Bridget gathering blankets for everyone. Good times.
I wish I made it to Zack's graduation party. I wish I could be with Bridget, Ryan, Zack, Allison and Abby right now. Not that I would be able to make them feel better, fix that there dad is no longer physically with him, or work some miracle to reverse whatever happened late Tuesday night. But to just be with them. To somehow try to take an ounce of their sadness and attempt to carry it for them. Our family, the Cavanaughs, are blessed with good fortune, health, wellness, happiness... tragedies have kept their distance from this clan. There must be some mistake. This isn't right. These things don't happen to us.
Apparently they do.
My cousins are some of the most beautiful people on the inside and out. They are intelligent, athletic, faithful, loving, funny, and stand out individuals. I am honored to be related to all of them. I have no idea what it would be like to go through some of the most challenging years without my dad. John was a stand out patriarch. John did everything for his amazing children and it shows... They are fantastic young adults. He provided the best for his kids, demanded honesty and hard work from his kids, and loved with all his might. I wish he would be there for the transitions into adulthood, into college, into high school.
It still doesn't seem real.
For now I send thoughts and love to Bridget, Ryan, Zack, Allison, Abby, and Johns parents, siblings, and everyone else who is mourning the loss of this irreplaceable person.
Stay Tuned..
No comments:
Post a Comment